Take Two

Let's start over. I seem to always forget that I do in fact, have a blog where I can write about my life. Awesome. So today I had class, boring as always. We talked about the Odyssey, and what we would do if we were put into Odysseus's place coming home. Was it really right for him to come home and slaughter all of his friend's children who were trying to hook up with his wife? I personally don't know what I would do in his situation, maybe I would first try telling them to leave, and if they put up any sort of fight, I'd kick their butts.

Tonight I'm volunteering with the Culver Community Organization here in Eville. It's pretty fun but I need to make myself get out of my shell and talk to more people. Sometimes I don't really know what to do with myself when I'm around new people, but I am trying really hard to just be me around strangers. I always feel like they will think I'm weird and such. I think I have gotten better just this year about talking to new people. I've talked to other people in my nursing class if I sit by someone new, and I'm really trying to just calm down and talk during job interviews. Any ideas on how to not be shy?

I recently went to a hockey game, WWE, and ice skating. It was pretty fun and then entire weekend was $12. The hockey game was a great experience, and I would love to go to another one. WWE was just hilarious because everything was so outrageous. I was in the boxes and I could tell everything was fake. Oh, and I've decided that WWE refs are useless and don't actually have any power like they do in real sports. Ice skating was tons of fun. When I was little I used to dream about being an ice skater, but that of course never happened because there was no rink for me to practice and no money to be trained. After about 2 hours, I started getting more and more comfortable and I was pretty proud that I never fell once during the 3 hours I was there.

I also went up to Purdue this past weekend. It was great and I loved seeing friends and Kayse while I was there. I never could go to school there...Kayse told me about how the professors actually make you compete with the other kids in your class. Not a very good learning environment in my opinion. I really like how USI's professors want you to get in groups and help other people out. I mean really, in future careers, most of us will have to work in groups, and by Purdue not wanting you to do group studying and only setting a certain number of A's in the class, I feel like they are taking away from that. It's like they're setting you up to fail and be a horrible uncaring/unsharing person. That's just wrong.

Things I hate.

I just saw on facebook one of my friend's post was things i hate, and she wrote "w131" over and over again. You know what I hate?

Friends. and the screwed up drama and lies that come with them.

Leave it to me,

A girl who has constant things running through my mind that I would like people to know, to never write on her blog. Figures. But in reality, blogging has been the furthest thing on my mind right now. I found a guy in September 2010, and from then on, I tried my hardest to get him to be mine. And you know what? In December he finally asked me out. From the get-go, I have been crazy about him, and actually, in high school, I thought he was the cutest thing since Lance from N'Sync. However, at that time it was jock vs. bando, so I never even talked to him. Come college, and I text him late at night and we begin to text regularly. Of course, every time I got a text I was Miss Giddy, and all my roommates made fun of me. Luckily for me, he began to like me back, and as of today, wehave been dating for five months. These five months have been some of the hardest months of my life because ladies and gents, I am in love. The only problem is that we are normally 400 miles away, me in Evansville and him at Purdue.But the hardest months are to come. He got hired for a Co-op at NASA down in Houston, TX, so he will be there during the fall semester of school this year, then he'll go back down next summer, and then go the following spring semester. Even though he is technically a junior this year, he will graduate with me because of the co-op.

While this post has been all happy-go-lucky, the one thing that made me want to blog happened this past week. My boyfriend's dad died. He passed away in the comfort of his own bed, but sadly, he was so drugged I don't actually know if he knew what was going on. I had been there for my boyfriend since 9 AM, and I stayed on babysitting duty most of the day. I went home around 1:30AM the next morning to get some sleep because when I left the family had all gone home and his dad was in a comatose state. I got back to his house around 4 AM because about an hour or so after I left, his dad passed. From getting there late Tuesday night, getting there early Wednesday morning, , leaving late again Wednesday night, then getting back early early Thursday morning, wash rinse and repeat. Let's just say I didn't get a lot of sleep, which is okay because I knew my boyfriend had someone there he could cry with who wasn't family. It was hard to watch him cry, and I had no idea what to say to him. At first it was awkward and surprising, but eventually I got to where I just let him cry and held him. This was an eye-opening weekend for me because I saw how hard it is to be the shoulder that is cried on. I hated seeing him hurting, seeing him be weak. But all-in-all, I think it helped me. Maybe I won't cry so much, or make such a big deal about the little things.

Have I mentioned that I love his nephews? They are the cutest kids I have ever seen, and they all have a special little tweak (that can be horribly annoying if left with them for too long) but they are adorable. And the babies are cute too (:. Something good that came from this weekend? I got to spend time with the family and get closer to his sister's and nephews.

C.O.L.L.E.G.E.

Here's to college. The time in my life that I can stop being bombarded by the Bedford environment and can become more of the person that I want to become. So many times I've had to make choices now that I'm on my own, and whether or not they are the right choices, I feel better about them because they were mine. I mean, during highschool, yes, you have to make choices, and you have to start getting more and more independent, but it's nothing like college. And I love that fact. I have tons of time to hang out with friends, AND to study. Which, is so different from highschool. I always felt like I was running around trying to do everything and get everything completed for school. But now, it's like I have time to do the things that I want to do and the things that I have to do.
Yay for growing up!(:
I'll post more later.

Pennsylvania, Pennsylvania

This state is just beautiful. Hard to describe really, the short mountains covered with deep green trees, the houses squashed together with loads of history in each piece of wood, and the people walking out and about at all times of the day and/or night. I've tried to keep up with the pictures, but sometimes there's just not that spunk of a little "burough" in the side of a mountain that you can see with your own two eyes. The trip up to Kittanning, PA was a long one, to say the least. I think it took us about nine hours. Crazy amount of time to be in a car. It wasn't too bad though, me and Kayla (Luke's wife) stayed in the car for the most part and we had tons of fun. Lots to talk about and such. I'm pretty sure that we talked almost the entire time we rode together. I've decided that me and Kayla are crazy alike, which is awesome!

I'm not sure how to describe the rest of our trip. From day one we were cleaning and unpacking and cleaning some more. Sometimes it felt like the girls did all the work, and the guys worked slower. I know by the end of the day all three of us girls, Kayla, Mom, and me were very very tired and went to sleep whenever we climbed into bed. But maybe that's just because it I saw it from our point of view, who knows. We made a huge dent in their empire of cardboard boxes, but by the time we left this morning they still had a long way to go to finish moving in.

We walked last night around town to go see Luke's "Youth Center" for the youth group. It's a really nice building, about three and a half blocks away from the apartment, and the main church building is just down the street from the center. The youth center actually has a little kitchen area that the youth run, and they sell things like drinks and candy there. Luke's office is just upstairs, and its nice and spacious. (It does have a Steelers football flag on the window though. I'm surprised he hadn't already taken that down.) That was pretty cool to see.

This entire trip, ever since Monday morning, I have been trying and trying to be happy and upbeat, to try and have fun while I'm having a great experience in a state that I've never been in before or dreamt of being here. But it's so hard to do that when the entire time John complains about being here, and not helping out when asked to do something totally simple, something that would take probably ten minutes at the most. But he complains and complains and then it takes about asking him twenty times before he gets up off the coach and does it. I'm not sure how he does that, sits around and plays video games or watches tv all day. If I'm inside for just a few hours, I get snippy and have to go outside and get some fresh air. I can't even imagine wanting to be inside doing nothing all day. I'd be fidgeting and crabby and jumpy all day. Maybe I don't always understand what goes on in that brain of his, but goodness.

Gettysburg. That's where we are right now, and I wouldn't say it's as beautiful as Kittanning, but it's pretty dang close. Here, there's an air of something (I haven't quite been able to name it yet). Like, you know some pretty big crap went down on the very land that you're walking on. It's pretty neat-o. We're taking a tour tomorrow of the battlegrounds, and then we'll walk around and look in on the museums and some of the other places we've heard are good to go to. Apparently, we're staying in the first modern hotel that was built in Gettysburg, which, is pretty cool because it was our last resort to finding a hotel room last minute. I'm pretty excited about being here, because it's one thing to read about a hugely historical battle, but a totally different learning experience being here at the same exact place that those men were hundreds of years ago.

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A Big Girl,

that I am. Or so I feel. But sometimes, people make me feel like a child, and I don't always appreciate it. Yes, I was raised to not do that. But yes, I am old enough to make my own decision. I am not totally incapable of protecting myself if need be, but I trusted that I would be safe. And I was. Totally and completely. Life is crazy, yes, but it is what you make it. And I don't want to live in the shadows for the rest of my life, I'm not that kind of girl, even though I was raised in a shell. Shoot, I'm gonna be living at college soon, in a little over a month, and I'm going to make choices, some wise, some not so wise, but that comes with the property I think. I always think about the choices, and what might happen, goodness, I worry like crazy. I was ridiculously nervous today, until I got there. And everything fell away. I had fun, felt like a big kid. But hey, you can't win every battle I guess.